How to conquer your worst enemy

They teach you a lot of things in school—like how to add numbers and write a cohesive essay. Unfortunately, what they DON’T teach you in school is real life skills; I guess they assume your parents will teach you those things. And if you have good parents, they do—mine did. But what no one taught me—in school or at home—was how to conquer the biggest and most consistent obstacle I would face in my life…ME.

Yes, the person that is the most critical, judgmental and pessimistic turns out to be living inside my head. When I achieve my goals she tells me I can do more, when I make a mistake she’s the first person to say, ‘what did you expect?’ She refuses to give me any credit and blames me for everything that goes wrong. She’s mean and powerful and sometimes her voice is the only one I hear.

The reason why I’m sharing this is because we ALL have this person inside of us. This is your worst enemy—the one that can break you and suck the joy out of your life; the one that brings out your insecurities, belittles your accomplishments and doesn’t believe you can achieve your goals. Having been on the battlefield with this b*tch for quite some time now, I want to give you some advice on how to dropkick your enemy and shut out his/her voice while you continue focusing on being freakin’ awesome.

 1)   Create a separate entity/alter ego for your enemy so every time that negative voice in your head gets too overbearing you can say to yourself “this is not me, this is so-and-so trying to bring me down and I don’t have time for this BS, I’m better than this.”

2)   Take a moment and ask yourself why you’ve allowed this person to control you and attack your character. Figuring out the answer to this is more important than pretending not to hear the negativity.

3)   For every pessimistic thing your enemy throws at you think of an equal but positive response. For example, if he says “you always panic under pressure” say “perhaps, but I’m really good at problem solving so one way or another, I will figure it out”

4)   Know when to strike—the more your enemy talks and the louder her voice gets the harder it will be to take her down. Beware of the warning signals and put an end to the unproductive internal dialogue immediately.

5)   Celebrate when you win—in every war, there is a winner. You may have some battle scars and unpleasant memories but when you conquer your enemy give yourself a pat on the back, it’s not easy to take down the one person that knows how to push all of your buttons.

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